Dear all i am sharing the real story where unrealistic expectations of parents spoiling the life of kid. All the names and background have been changed to protect the identity of child and parent.
" Around 2 years back when I was working in my office got a call from boss to meet one parent who came all the way from Calcutta with his 11 year old daughter who was studying in class 6th. Father claimed his daughter to be prodigy who could solve class 11 &12 Maths questions while she was studding in class 6th. I was amazed to hear this .Father was working in Indian Army and posted to Calcutta and when he came to know about my back ground of Armed Forces. He was at ease. My boss asked me to do testing of her .I asked her few questions from the topics he suggested from classes 11 &12 and she was able to solve most of the question .Her father wanted her to start JEE preparation right away. I was reluctant for this. He also showed me lot of press releases of Calcutta where media has praised and went agog over this prodigious child.
When her father told about Namrata’s foray in to higher mathematics that she was attending classes with 11th &12th students in Calcutta, Vandana was taken back and started advising Chiya to work hard as she took Namrata as a role model for Chiya. They had a train to catch so after spending some time with us they left for Calcutta.
Vandana was in depression because she was comparing Chiya with Namrata. I shared my experience of quizzing Namrata and told her though Namrata doing higher Maths but she lacked in basic and this is not good for child to skip the basics.
Almost a year passed I almost forget about the parents. One fine day as I entered in to office I saw the family sitting in the waiting lounge in the month of April. I invited them to my office after a chit chat of here and there. Father said to me while looking at Namrata “Sir, I have followed your instructions and now she completed basic of classes till 10th. You can ask her. I was in no mood to quiz but he pressurized. When I asked her few question she appeared to me more tensed but she replied correctly to most of the basic questions in Maths asked to her. However her basic in science were still not up to mark, infect she has not studied science of up to class 7th. Father wanted her class 7th daughter to start class11th JEE preparation. I strongly resisted and suggested that she should first compete with class 7th on which he was taken back, he agreed on nothing lower than class 9th. Finally she was admitted in our institute in class 9, father insisted for top batch so I reluctantly acceded for that also.
I did not meet Namrata and her father for quite some time after this meeting. One day I happen to spot Namrata on the road she was looking much older than her age, I asked her about studies, she told Good in a low voice, which made me uncomfortable.
In the office I checked her report and was surprised to discover that she has been demoted to lowest batch of class 9th. She was also not regular to classes and missed quite a few of tests also so I called her to office, she came along with her mother; I wanted to know how she demoted to lower batch. Her mother told me climate of Kota not suited her, she has been fallen sick many times. However when I looked at her marks in the tests she appeared even those marks were not impressive. I said to her why you don’t sit in your age appropriate class 7th. She nodded her head and expressed her desire also but she was afraid of her father. I sent her mother outside on some pretext. When alone she accepted that she is not able to cope up with class 9 students but was afraid to tell it to father because her father had high hopes from her. I called her father in front of her. He also sounded tensed on mobile but didn’t like my idea of Namrata joining class 7th. According to him she was not able to adopt herself to Kota environment and soon he will be visiting Kota and will personally look in to performance issue. My biggest worry was not her performance but was her body language which showed symptoms of tiredness of coping with expectations of her father.
Again for months I didn’t see Namrata and never heard of her but in my heart I always felt that something wrong happened with her because of father’s unrealistic expectations.
I could never understand the urgency of finishing studies so fast that one is not able to enjoy the studies."
I did not meet Namrata and her father for quite some time after this meeting. One day I happen to spot Namrata on the road she was looking much older than her age, I asked her about studies, she told Good in a low voice, which made me uncomfortable.
In the office I checked her report and was surprised to discover that she has been demoted to lowest batch of class 9th. She was also not regular to classes and missed quite a few of tests also so I called her to office, she came along with her mother; I wanted to know how she demoted to lower batch. Her mother told me climate of Kota not suited her, she has been fallen sick many times. However when I looked at her marks in the tests she appeared even those marks were not impressive. I said to her why you don’t sit in your age appropriate class 7th. She nodded her head and expressed her desire also but she was afraid of her father. I sent her mother outside on some pretext. When alone she accepted that she is not able to cope up with class 9 students but was afraid to tell it to father because her father had high hopes from her. I called her father in front of her. He also sounded tensed on mobile but didn’t like my idea of Namrata joining class 7th. According to him she was not able to adopt herself to Kota environment and soon he will be visiting Kota and will personally look in to performance issue. My biggest worry was not her performance but was her body language which showed symptoms of tiredness of coping with expectations of her father.
Again for months I didn’t see Namrata and never heard of her but in my heart I always felt that something wrong happened with her because of father’s unrealistic expectations.
I could never understand the urgency of finishing studies so fast that one is not able to enjoy the studies."
Very true,parents are to guide d child not force. These days stress have aggravated only because we want to achieve everything in shortest possible time.too high hopes lead us nowhere.
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